The clowns can't touch you...

A week before Halloween, I somehow ended up at a haunted corn maze. (maize? haha. Sorry. Couldn't resist)

Let me preface with, I don't do scary. Halloween time or not, I just don't do scary. Hate scary movies. Hate fear. Hate that feeling that lingers after a scary movie and taps you on the shoulder hours later when you're climbing your porch stairs in the dark. I hate horror and weird and foreign and other-worldly. Not my thing. And it's not even so much a spiritual conviction, though there is that a little, as much as it is a personal preference/personality thing. Not who I am.

So for me to end up at this haunted corn maze was quite the ordeal and a step out of the box for me. I went with a bunch of friends from my ministry group (we were chaperoning a youth group of teenagers from a local church - and if you disagree with a church taking teens to something "scary", that's totally fine, but that's not the point of this post ::wink::)

This is a pretty awesome place in a nearby town here in Louisiana, featuring two haunted "mazes" in corn fields (they're not really mazes because you can't get lost, they're more like cut paths through a huge corn field) and a real, legit, non-haunted corn maze that you really can wander around in for hours, along with a bunch of concessions, games for kids, bounce houses, duck races, paintball shooting, etc. Good times!

So there we were. We all formed a line to go into the first scary "maze", which is really just a bunch of people in costume jumping out of the corn at you in the dark. It's more hilarious than scary, but the adrenaline and anticipation is pretty legit. There's signs everywhere reminding you that the actors can't touch you, so please don't touch them (they have these signs for people like my friend who throat-punched a monster once at one of these things and almost got arrested. bahahah) It's all fun and games and lighthearted. A safe thrill, if you will. (sorry for the rhyme).

The first maze was hysterical, because I was already worked up and was double fisting the back of our leader's hoodie. I had one guy friend in my ear making spooky giggles, another teasing me "hey watch out. hey WATCH OUT" every two feet and getting in my head.

Someone stepped out of the corn in a Scream mask, and I nearly knocked over our 6 foot tall leader trying to get to his other side. I could feel the presence of the actor behind me, but I figured it had moved on to leer at people behind me. I tried to shake it off.

Then I heard someone say "Hey Betsy, look behind you."

Uh, no thanks. I kept my eyes straight ahead, my fists bunched up in my friend's hoodie, and kept walking. Despite my spine tingling and my hair standing on end and that eerie sensation that told me YES something terrible is right behind you - I didn't look. I kept walking. Congratulating myself on my bravery and focus and self discipline on not totally losing it.

Then a stalk of corn brushed against my ankle and I lost it.

Like, charged-ahead-full-steam-and-climbed-up-the-back-of-the-near-stranger-in-front-of-me-for-dear-life lost it.  I made grown adults run screaming away from ME because I was the one scaring the mess out of THEM, because they didn't know what had freaked me out so badly. They just assumed they needed to get away too.

Absolutely hysterical.

Once in line for the second maze, I was more prepared, and less on edge. I had experience now, I was an expert. I got this. Monsters coming out of corn? Psshh. No biggie. Bring it on. I had conquered. I was DA WOMAN.

Until I realized this maze had clowns.

Sorry, I just fainted a little at the memory.

Yes. Clowns.

Did I mention I don't do clowns?

I mean, like, I have run red lights in my car to get away from clowns. I have screamed in a clown's face (as an adult!) and taken off running down a strip mall plaza IN PUBLIC to get away from a clown.

I don't do clowns.

So when I'm standing in line to go in this next maze, and see a clown with the horror mask from the movie "It" (yeah - don't watch it!) draped over the fence, staring at the crowd in line, I almost lost it again, and wasn't even in the maze yet. Talk about my worst nightmare. I almost sat it out. But everyone teased and encouraged me to go for it. (and I didn't want to stay outside by myself with clowns nearby!) So I gather my wits just in time to see two of the guys from our group coming back from TALKING TO THE CLOWN and laughing.

Oh. NO.

Of course they wouldn't tell me what was said. So for the next twenty minutes, I had one mission in life.

Survival.

As in, stay away from clowns.

Pretty basic.

And a little more difficult than it sounds.

This maze wasn't just a corn maze but consisted of crudely constructed rooms/shacks, in which you have to duck under and between fabric and strips of materials, with strobe lights going off in your face, crazy scenes set up on all sides, climbing over bridges and uphill terrain. In the DARK. With clowns randomly approaching you along with other various horror creatures.

Sorry, I just fainted again.

I made it through, though I probably owed my leader a new hoodie now, and emerged on a dirt path that led up hill to The End. Redemption was in sight. The finish line. We had almost made it.

There was a clown on the side of the path between me and the finish line.

I mustered everything I had, placed myself on the far side of my group leader, get a new grip on the hoodie, and make like the Little Engine That Could. I think I can, I think I can...

Until the clown on the path ahead lifted up his mask and called up the trail, "HEY!! BETSY'S COMING."

Sorry, I just fainted again.

That's right. The clown knew my name.

In the back of my mind, before I abandoned the hoodie of protection and took off sprinting, I realized that probably, my two silly friends had told the clown my name at the beginning of the maze when they had been teasing me. None of this really took root, however, as I flew up the path, past the clown, and deep into the night. Screaming.

I survived, clearly, but was told later that night that my friends had not approached the clown on their own to trick me. The clown had actually WAVED THEM OVER and asked who I was.

He sought me out.

If that doesn't just make you wanna curl up in the fetal position.....

Sorry, just fainted again.

All in all, it was a fun night, with a great story to tell and fellowship and a ton of laughter afterward, but as always, God doesn't let me experience much without revealing some sort of lesson in it. And this metaphor for me was so obvious, I had to share it with all of you.

So many times in life, we end up on a scary trail. Sometimes it's one we choose , however unintentionally or intentionally by consequences or results of sin or choices, and other times the path chooses us and we don't have a choice but to walk and see it through. Sometimes on that trail, fear taps us on the shoulder, doubts lurk right behind us, and courage fails. Sometimes on that trail, the fear is so thick and suffocating it's a tangible presence looming, threatening, consuming...

And when those moments come, there is only one thing to do.

We keep our eyes straight ahead, our fists bunched up in our security blanket (Jesus), and we keep walking. Just us and Jesus. Despite our spine tingling and our hair standing on end and that eerie sensation that tells us YES something terrible is right behind you - we don't look. We keep walking. Not in denial of the evil, not in denial of the fear, but rather in resistance to it, resistance to giving the enemy what he wants.

And sometimes, those fears know our name. They see us coming a mile away and are ready for us. The enemy of our souls has that target in his sights and he knows exactly where to aim. So in those cases, we flee. Just like I hauled butt up that path, we are to flee temptation, not cave to it or cower under it. We get the heck out of there and come out the other side, cramping and gasping for air but unscathed. Victorious.

And on those occasions that we can't manage to run, when we are too weak to flee, and we do give in, we remember the sign. The clowns can't touch you. Oh they can scare you. They can get in your face, and hover, and linger, and torment, but they can't touch you. They can't take you away. Because even in your sin, if you're a believer, you belong to Jesus. His hoodie of protection drapes you and covers you and protects you from being consumed. And when you cry out and repent and call His name, He is waiting there to carry you out to safety.

The clowns can't touch you.

A new favorite...

 

I pretty much play this song every time I get in my car now!

Ode to a Miracle Snail

The last week has been rough.

It seems every evening Little Miss (my kindergartner) and I butt heads. I know part of this is because she's 5, and it's that age and stage, and she's so advanced that the sass starts sooner...some days she's like a mini-teenager. But I also know that part of it is her dealing with the situation we are in within our family and processing her own pent up anger and frustration and confusion.

It's such a layered, complicated situation, and the unfairness of it all drives me to my knees and to tears almost every night. At times, it seems too big, too overwhelming - and when I think about the reasons it has come to this, I struggle with anger and bitterness. Which I don't want to do. So it's easier to let it all go, to push the deeper layers aside, and just deal with the surface level tantrums one at a time than dwell on the real issues.

But you can only do that for so long, and tonight, this all came to a head in the form of a green snail.

Little Miss loves her stuff. Gifts are her love language by far, and she collects miscellaneous items like a rocker collects guitars. And they're just as valuable to her. The "junk" you get at the dollar store or from school fundraisers will light up her life like the 4th of July. It's unbelievable. So when she was cleaning out her toys the other night and found her long lost little green snail squishy light up toy, well, it was better than Christmas morning. She was ecstatic.

Until she lost it again.

So we spent a good long while searching. Gave up. She searched more later. Gave up. We forgot about it. Then she remembered it. And cried for literally hours off and on. We searched again. I mean, everywhere. In all her buckets of toys. All her drawers in her room. Under the couches. We talked through when she had seen it last and what she thought might have happened to it. No avail. We searched everywhere obvious and then in desperation, I checked the not so obvious places like the pantry and refrigerator.

All the while, I was growing more and more frustrated, because A. I didn't understand why the snail was so important in the first place, B. her tears were stressing me out and causing my own emotional over-reaction, C. the fact that something wasn't where it should be just made me mad and D. This was taking up so much time I didn't have that I needed to be doing a hundred other things.

Along with  the truth that with everything else going on this week, it felt like just one more battle lost. I needed a victory, and I needed it bad.

I started unloading the dishwasher and sinking into a depression while she sniffled on the couch. I prayed, and ranted, and vented to God silently while banging dishes around. Nothing was fair. Nothing was right. This wasn't about a green snail anymore. It was about so, so much more. And it was ugly.

Finally, I finished the dishes, dried my eyes, and went and held her. She was trying to put on a brave face. Said it didn't matter. Said I didn't have to look anymore. Lower lip quivering, holding her stuffed animals, she looked exactly like I felt. Forgotten, lost, defeated.

I held her and with tears dripping into her hair, we watched a cartoon and pretended together it didn't matter. Brave warrior princess faces on, but armor tattered and torn. I closed my eyes and silently asked God with the little bit of mama strength I had left to show me where the snail was. I asked for His glory, and for her happiness, that He just right then, right there, supernaturally TELL ME where the snail was.

Immediately, and I do mean immediately, an image of our computer desk in my office popped in my head. I didn't even argue. I threw back the blanket, walked away, didn't say a word of explanation, just walked to the computer desk. Opened the top drawer.

And stared directly into the googly eyes of a little green squishy light up snail.


I started giggling and couldn't stop for thirty minutes. That kind of giddy, in awe, disbelief sort of laugh that comes from your toes, that comes from realizing the God of the universe really does see, and really does care. And was a dead-center-target-hit for me that if God cares about the location of a little green squishy light up snail, He cares about the big things in my heart. And He's in charge of those too.

I presented the snail to Little Miss, who lit up like a Christmas tree. It was a happy moment. And with my teary eyes looking into her own hopeful watery gaze, I told her exactly what had happened. And got to teach her a lesson she'll never forget about the goodness of our Heavenly Daddy and His love for us that is comparable to none.

He is good. He is enough. And He still gives gifts to His kids.

Big ones. Little ones.

And green ones.

Peace for Single Moms

I'm so honored to host Jennifer Maggio today on my blog and feature her new book.

And guess what? She's doing a GIVEAWAY! :)  Yay for freebies.

Jennifer's ministry is amazing - she is ALL ABOUT single moms, and has such a passionate, Spirit-filled heart for that demographic. Because she sees them all individually for who they are, not as a niche or a market or a generalization - she sees hearts. Not labels.

And she can do this because for a season in her life, she was one.

We all know the most effective ministry and outreach comes through pain, and identifying with your audience. Jennifer has that down, and God has done amazing works in her life. Please check out her guest post below and leave a comment to win a free copy of her book! You won't be disappointed.

Thanks! :)

Finding Calm in the Chaos by Jennifer Maggio

            Eighteen years ago, I gazed into the eyes of my unbelievably beautiful first-born. I sat in the hospital room alone. It was the first of many nights, many years, that I would spend parenting my son alone. It wasn’t long before I found myself curled in a ball in the middle of my cold, bathroom floor, crying hysterically. I was convinced that no one could possibly understand the depths of my pain. When would this misery end? I was broken. I was exhausted. I had no money, few friends, and no hope. How was I going to raise a child alone for 18 years? How could I make it financially? Would my circumstances every change?

            That is my story – the story of a lonely single mom, living on government assistance, running from God, and feeling I couldn’t push through. The next several years brought a winding road of highs and lows, victories and defeats. But I did push through. I made it through those early years of parenting alone. Although I hadn’t been in years, I became involved in my local church, rededicated my life to the Lord, and slowly began the journey of digging myself out of a financial and emotional hole. My heart found rest. I leaned on the Lord, when everyone else had failed me. And I never forgot what it was like to be that lonely, overwhelmed single mom. That little baby I held oh so long ago is now eighteen, thriving, and the joy of my life.

            My new book, Peace and the Single Mom: 50 Moments of Calm in the Chaos, exists to walk another single mother through the certain loneliness she has felt, but also to guide her to God’s faithfulness, to wholeness, to humor, and ultimately, to peace. It was written as my “thank you” for all God has done in my own life. It was written as my encouragement to that mom who feels no one understands.

Single moms don’t need just another sermon preached at them. They don’t need another book that makes them feel they are light years away from being a good Proverbs 31 woman! They want to hear about God’s grace, His faithfulness, His unconditional love. They want to learn to laugh again. My hope is that Peace and the Single Mom does just that!

          

  Picture Peace and the Single Mom as your girl-time with me, as we sit in your living room, sipping coffee, with our feet on the furniture.

Jennifer Maggio is an award-winning author and speaker whose personal journey through homelessness, severe abuse, and single parenting leaves audiences riveted. She is founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries and Overwhelmed: The Single Moms Magazine. For more info, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.

Controversy, stilettos, & seeing the future

I've discovered something lately....

You get a lot of feedback when you're going through a divorce.

Shocker, huh? Yeah. Lots of advice - some of which you need, some of which you want, and some of which you neither need nor want. I've learned by now to filter the advice and opinions, and have created a system of sorts for who I listen to and how serious to take the advice I do get.

Because in these sticky, complicated, messy, gray situations of life, there really aren't a lot of clear cut right and wrong answers. And if you've never been in this particular pair of shoes of mine (which I am rockin' now, by the way, and have decided are silver, open-toed and boast a stiletto heel ::wink::), well, be careful. Be cautious. Be AWARE of what you say to someone if you can't truly understand. And by all means, don't SAY you understand when you simply don't. If you actually DO understand, then that means you've been here, so at that point, by all means, bring on the advice :)

I have been SO blessed that God brought me several friends at this time in my life, some of who literally do understand, and some of who don't, but who all encourage me, love me, and give me sound advice regularly. Wow, that's priceless!! I have the people in my life I vent to and expect nothing back but sad smiley's and murmurs of compassion - perfect. I have the people in my life I vent to and receive Godly wisdom and the hard stuff advice from - perfect. I have the people in my life I vent to and receive pep talks and encouragement and "you da man" from - perfect. I have the people in my life I vent to who have been there and give me the "I remember that feeling, you're normal, don't worry, it will pass" from - perfect.

It takes a village.

But not all advice from those in your shoes is automatically good for you (or me) either. That goes back to that filter I mentioned. You need to first filter everything through God's word, and after that, through your own common sense God gave you and through your conviction experience with the Holy Spirit. Something might or might not be addressed specifically in God's word, and that's when you go to someone godlier and wiser than you, and get alone with God long enough to run it by Him.

He'll meet you, every time.

And that's where my post gets controversial.

When this divorce journey first began in February, I Googled a lot. I mean, a LOT. I drank in articles, blogs, chat forums, and online support groups like a dehydrated woman. And in some ways, I WAS very dehydrated. I was dehydrated for hope. But I was searching for it in the wrong places. Instead of bringing it all to God, I was bringing to other people, desperate for "proof" or "omens" in the success stories of other marriages being restored. I was looking for signs under every rock that this wasn't actually going to happen and that my husband would return and things would go back to normal and this would all just be a very very bad dream.

Literally under every rock.

And it almost killed me.

It actually DID kill a portion of my heart for a long time that God has recently breathed back to life. Because while I was scrambling to fix things myself and make things happen that I couldn't possibly and begging Him for a miracle, I forgot to actually seek Jesus. I didn't want Him so much as I wanted what He could perhaps do for me and change in my circumstances.

::Insert loud buzzer here::

That never works.

And one of the ways I got myself hurt was by investing time and energy into a group that were "standing for their marriages".

Don't throw rocks yet. Hear me out.

I wasn't in the right place to be in that group. Because of where my heart was, where my anxiety level had peaked, where depression knocked on my back door...it was dangerous. Not helpful. I was still depending far too much on man at that point in my journey.

**Disclaimer - Now, in that search, I did come across a small group of ladies online who actively prayed together once a week via conference call for their marriages, and oh my goodness, that was very much a God-ordained thing and led me to a close friendship with a woman who is now divorced, and texts with me every day. God put us in each other's life for encouragement and fellowship and support, and that was NOT a mistake or accident. I am blessed that He led me to her. **

That said, however, there are many groups and blogs and support communities online that in my honest opinion, go overboard in their faith.

Don't throw rocks!! Hear me out.

That sounds harsh and bold, but think about it. Some of these groups preach a theology that basically says "if you hang on long enough and pray hard enough, God WILL restore your marriage - no matter what". They twist Scriptures to back this up and bring hope to desperate, hurting, aching souls that, like me at the time, were so eager to hear anything to support that dream that they wallowed in their pain a whole lot longer than they had to.

How damaging is that?

Because you know what? That's not always true. That's not always the case. Yes, there are a million testimonies of restored marriages and the impossible being  made possible and that is AWESOME. I am all for that. Yay God!!!

But there's also a lot that don't get restored despite the prayers and dedication and 'standing' of a wife or husband. There's just as many or more stories where the other person in the marriage DIDN'T change or didn't repent or didn't come around. Despite prayer. Despite fasting. Despite pleading and tithing and begging and bribing and waiting for years. There were women in that group who had literally been waiting decades for their "prodigal husband" to come back and he had already been remarried for years.

That's fine for them if that's their decision. I applaud that and support them. It's admirable in many circumstances and in many ways.

I didn't feel led to commit to that type of stand, and had to leave that environment because it was hurting me more than helping me.

And when I started asking questions and backing off a little and doubting my "stand", I got talked down to. Accused, basically. Dissed, essentially. Because I was "giving up". I was failing, not strong enough to stand for my marriage no matter what.

Talk about salt in a wound.

It got me thinking. Was I wrong for not dedicating myself to that same kind of "stand"? WAS I failing somehow in my faith by not staying in it all hardcore when I had been abandoned? What was black and white here? Where was the line between doormat and stander? Where was the line between living your faith and denying reality/losing your mind?

So gray.

But here's my final revelation on the point, and I will "stand" by it all day long:

I believe, firmly, with my whole heart now, that God calls some women (and men) to stand for their marriages. And others He does not.

Because here's the key factor - HE SEES THE FUTURE.

He knows in advance which spouse will return and which ones won't. He knows what deserted/abandoned heart needs to take that position and which ones don't. He knows which wounds will heal in that circumstance and environment and which ones will get infected.

In other words, it's a case by case basis. If God knows so-and-so's husband is never going to return, never going to repent, never going to make that heart change and get his life right, and is going to remarry and start a family elsewhere, then why on earth would God call her to stand for that marriage and hope and pray and wait by the window for the rest of her life?

That's not how God operates.

Proverbs 13:12 " A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Bottom line - if He puts that commitment to stand in your heart, it's for a specific reason. And if you are walking with God and thriving in Him and bringing Jesus into every area of your life, daily - and it's still not there - then that's also for a specific reason.

No judgment. No condemnation. No "this is the only way to do this" type statements.

Because there shouldn't be, and there's not.

And don't get me started on those who have strong opinions one way or another on whether or not it's okay to date or see other people while you are separated, or after you are recently divorced, or whatever. Again - let them make those decisions with God, because His opinion is the only one they need to be worried about anyway. Trust me, they have enough on their plate without having to think in advance about all those prickly possibilities and make commitments they won't know yet if they can carry out.

The worst thing you can do to a broken heart or a wounded soul is give it a brochure of rules.

If you want to help someone going through a divorce, please - put the rocks down. And then hand them a Kleenex and a piece of chocolate.

I like Dove & Twix :)

So, what do you think about all of this? I want an honest discussion, with no rock throwing, on my revelation/theory about standing for marriage. Whether you are in this situation or not, please chime in and let's get some debate going potentially. I'm very open to all opinions because ignoring these topics only make them worse.

A dash of controversy...

Just a heads up..

I'm working through some thoughts regarding a revelation I had a few days ago, and will be posting about  it all soon. It could be a potentially explosive/controversial subject for anyone who has ever gone through a struggling marriage or been through a divorce or been left, etc.- BUT - I'm hoping and praying for positive feedback and a good discussion that uplifts and draws us closer to Jesus and away from condemnation.

Pray with me on that in advance, will you? :)

I'm not supposed to tell you...

There's something I probably shouldn't talk about. Or at least, it seems forbidden to do so...

But right now, in this season, if I don't talk about it, then I don't talk at all. And if I don't talk, then you'll never know how much Jesus has done for me and is doing in me and has promised to do for me in the future. And if I don't share THAT, and if I don't shout His goodness, then the Bible says the rocks will, and well - that could make for all kinds of car wrecks and strained necks and heart attacks, so...

I'm going to talk.

But our culture sort of dictates otherwise, doesn't it? Don't air your dirty laundry. Don't reveal your weakness. Don't let the cracks of brokenness show.

Yet if Jesus is washing that laundry and providing that strength training and filling those empty spaces...how can I keep silent?

I can't.

I'm not supposed to tell you I'm going through a divorce. I'm not supposed to tell you that I didn't want it. I'm not supposed to tell you that my world got ripped out from under me on February 11 of this year and hasn't completely found it's balance yet. I'm not supposed to tell you that almost 9 months later there are STILL full days of complete Alice and Wonderland foreign nonsense, a land that makes zero sense and has tiny doors and giant hats and cats with creepy smiles.

I'm not supposed to tell you about the times that simply taking out the trash rendered me to tears because it used to be a chore I didn't ever do. I'm not supposed to tell you about the times folding socks made my chest literally ache because the absence of male socks in the pile broke my heart all over again. I'm not supposed to tell you of the times over the past 9 months that I left tear stains in the carpet and lost my voice yelling at no one at all and didn't cook for 4 months straight because I couldn't handle the pain of cooking for one.

I'm not supposed to tell you of the times I left a fellowship or get-together with friends and drove home, alone, bawling my eyes out the entire way, blinded by loneliness and the dread of the empty house awaiting me. I'm not supposed to tell you about the nights I had to borrow a friend's noise machine just to sleep at a few fitful hours. I'm not supposed to tell you about the days I had to leave work because I couldn't fake a smile a single second longer or the days I drove to a lake and parked and stared because I couldn't even pray. I'm not supposed to tell you about the time I started crying in a department store because I walked past the men's section and didn't have a reason to buy a new T-shirt or ball cap just-because anymore.

I'm not supposed to talk about the pain, the confusion, the hurt, the betrayal, the loss, the chaos that comes from a dark night of the soul, a night where the clock hands stick on midnight and tick endlessly toward a dawn that never quite seems to arrive.

But I AM going to tell you about the time Jesus cried on the floor beside me, the time He held me and rocked me and understood because His heart hurt too. I WILL tell you about the time He wiped my tears and lifted my head and whispered promises that somehow were just louder than the lies bombarding me. I AM going to tell you about the time He gave me a heart shaped rock just when I asked for one, about the time He blessed my heart with a sunrise that took my breath away, about the time He parted the clouds and graced my face with a sunbeam and whispered that I was His sunshine. I WILL tell you about the time He held my hand when I couldn't stop stumbling and tripping and reminded me I wasn't alone. I will preach forever about the grace He gave me that I didn't deserve, about the unconditional love that is the only substance capable of reaching the bottomless depths of my heart.

I AM going to tell you about the times He ministered to me through godly men and women in Authentic Ministries, who took me in like family and loved me with zero questions asked and zero judgment passed, who prayed with me and over me and for me. Of the times He sent me friends at just the right moment to offer escapes and laughter and chocolate and coffee and reminded me there was still goodness all around me.  I WILL talk about the time He reminded me of His plans for my future and shared specifics with me that were so big, they made me laugh but also made me believe. I WILL tell you of the time He walked beside me down a cracked sidewalk when I felt utterly alone surrounded by people, and told me He was my date. I WILL tell you of the time He heard my heart's cry for a particular praise and worship song I hadn't heard in months, and gave it to me live and in person through extremely talented people twice in less than a week.

I am definitely going to talk about how He carefully collected the shattered, broken pieces of my heart and painstakingly began a masterpiece mosaic that is still a work in process, but will one day be museum-gallery-worthy. I will never shut up about His goodness, His faithfulness, His love, His mercy and His heart for me, that I do not deserve in any way yet can't get enough of...

Because isn't that what grace is, anyway? Undeserved favor. The Lord is near to the broken-hearted, and you'll never convince me otherwise because I've lived it. I'm still living it.

And I'm still talking about it.

And don't plan to stop.

Because the rocks just won't do it justice.

A new favorite...

This is SO pretty. I love this song. And her voice is stunning. 

A piece of my heart...

So I want to introduce you to a ministry I'm involved with here in Shreveport, called Authentic!! :) Listen to this 3 minute video for me (I'm in it! I'm a movie star ::wink::) and hear a piece of my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4eMFNcOOx4

God has used this ministry in ways to truly rescue me, and if you feel led to be a part or donate, I would be eternally (literally) grateful. You have NO IDEA the impact your financial donation and simply your prayers can have on this ministry and the people involved. Trust me. NO IDEA.

God is up to big things here. As a personal favor to me, please consider being a part, whether in support financially or prayerfully. :)

THANK YOU!