Thursday, August 1, 2013

When there's a scorpion in your shower...

Sometimes, life is full of surprises.

Good surprises.

Bad surprises.

A scorpion in your shower is a bad surprise.

Discovering said scorpion while you are IN the shower WITH HIM and HAVE BEEN for at least ten minutes before realizing it is truly a terrible, awful, zero-good-can-come-from-this type of surprise. 

Yes. There was a scorpion in my shower. I can't really quit saying it. 

There was a SCORPION in my SHOWER.

(Me and God had quite the frantic discussion about that fact)

(We also discussed why in the world those things were ever created in the first place, and I'm prompted to believe that perhaps they were invented AFTER the fall of Man. It just doesn't make sense otherwise. ha)

Now I know I live in the country, hence the two wasps and the two wolf spiders I've also killed this week (I actually had to go get the shoe off the dead spider where I'd left it on the floor from yesterday to kill the scorpion. Then had to go back and pick up remains of spider I've been procrastinating about. Rough morning!!) But I've lived in the country for 5 years now and have never seen a scorpion. Much less been standing beside one in a shower stall. ::shudder::

It sort of makes me wonder what else is lurking. 

(Remember the scene in Runaway Bride, where Julia Roberts suggests they cut across the field to go make a phone call, and tells Richard Gere to walk nice, because there might be snakes? Remember how he high-stepped over the grass? That was essentially me walking around my house afterward!)

Life is full of surprises. Good ones, like finding a $20 in your coat pocket from last winter, or realizing you haven't actually finished the bag of cookies yet you thought were gone, or getting a random thinking of you text from a friend, or receiving an escrow return check in the mail, or discovering money still left on a gift card you thought you'd already used...

Good surprises do happen. But eventually, there's going to be a scorpion in your shower. 

Financial struggle. Divorce. Sickness. Death. Hurt feelings. Strained relationships. Debt. Loss of a job. Failing a test. Fire. Flood. 

We all have a scorpion in our shower at some point in our lives. 

And when those bad surprises come, it's easy to get paranoid. Start high stepping around your carpet like a dork and squinting into corners just waiting for The Next One To Appear. (Yes, I Googled to make sure scorpions didn't travel in herds)

But we can't live like that. 

For one, it's uncomfortable. Even Richard Gere couldn't keep up that hitchy walk. 

Secondly, it's strangling. You don't want to be so busy peering into the shadows with a pounding heart that you miss the good stuff. Because there is still good stuff. 

Don't resign your heart to the idea that there's only more bad. That there's a pack of scorpions waiting to ambush because you killed their leader. There's not. (I Googled that too) Don't allow your heart to get defeated.

When my scorpion came, I did what any 29 year old woman on her own would do - called her Daddy and did what he suggested. 

You do the same. Call on your Heavenly Daddy, get instructions, then obey. He's the best when it comes to pest control.  :)


  1. Had to read this one to my hubby as he shares your fear. If I even let out a random gasp, all 6'4" of him is leaping behind me so I can protect him in the off chance my gasp came from a spider-sighting. Anyway, awesome analogy. And awesome entertainment for the people who work at Google.

  2. Okay, now Jim's acting out a spider ambush scene: "He's a big guy. You get his little toe, and I'll bite the big one. Better yet, let's wait until he goes to sleep."

    BTW, spiders sound like Cheech and Chong.

  3. Discovering said scorpion while you are IN the shower WITH HIM and HAVE BEEN for at least ten minutes before realizing it is truly a terrible, ...